Westminster West Read online

  Westminster West

  Jessie Haas

  For my father,

  Robert J. Haas,

  and

  for my sister,

  Martha

  Prologue

  Westminster lies in the northeastern part of the county … bounded north by Rockingham, east by the west bank of the Connecticut River, south by Putney, and west by Brookline and Athens.… The surface of the town is … quite rough and mountainous, though there are large tracts of level land with arable soil.… This brokenness of surface, though it in many places precludes profitable cultivation, greatly enhances the picturesqueness of the scenery, which is proverbial for its beauty.

  Gazetteer & Business Directory of Windham County, Vermont, 1724–1884, compiled and published by Hamilton Child

  Westminster West is a post village in the western part of the town. It has one church (Congregational), a schoolhouse, several mechanic shops, etc., and about a dozen dwellings.

  Gazetteer, 1884

  When I came here [1842] there was no railroad in the state.… A telegraph was not known, a telephone was a thing unheard of. These means of communication have connected larger towns, but left this parish out in the cold. We must go out to get into the current that is rushing by. Few come in.

  Rather than feel that our parish is small, let us look upon it as large enough for our best efforts.… As an inducement to faithfulness in the field given for us to cultivate … remember, our time is passing rapidly. Looking back from the point we occupy today, I do not see anything that has stood still. As I look back, I see the youth and children of the parish that met me 40 years ago, rushing by me, some out into the broad fields of active life. They are soon lost to sight. Some to the grave. The passer-by reads today the date of their birth and death. That is all that is known of them. I see, too, those that were then the occupants of these farms, passing by me. The sound of their driving, their threshing, their buying and selling soon ceases. The grave holds silent watch over them to-day. I see those of the parish then approaching manhood, rushing by me, to take the places their fathers had just left, striking out for larger fields and with a rush grasping for more than their fathers had, and in a few years of struggle lie down in the grave, or they are lost to my sight in the great business thoroughfares of our growing country. I see, too, the aged of the parish that met me then, moving by me with halting steps. They are soon out of my sight. Their sun quickly goes down before me. It is as still as night where they were. It seems but the work of the day passing in my dreams at night. No, nothing stands still here that is of lasting interest to me or you or the world. It is the great interest of humanity that crowds upon our thoughts and pushes us to the front and onward, and urges us to faithfulness for the Master who has given us this vineyard to cultivate. This vineyard. Here in this narrow valley we find our field of labor. Here we measure our strength for usefulness, and count the results of our lives that are to appear at the judgment day.

  Alfred Stevens, D.D., February 22, 1883, address on the fortieth anniversary of his pastorate with the Congregational Church, Westminster West

  1

  IF IT HAD NOT BEEN SO very warm that day, Sue thought later.

  If Clare had not been feeling delicate.

  If Clare had not been encouraged to consider herself delicate, and if she had not used this as a ladylike weapon against Sue, who was not thought delicate.

  If none of those novels with wasting heroines had been written, or if Mother had not allowed them to be read.

  If it had not been time to cultivate the corn. If Ed or Henry had been there, to stand in the attic and take the bolts and bundles of fabric as they were passed through the trapdoor.

  Even, if the South had not kept slaves, or the North not hated slavery. If Sumter had not been fired on. If Father and Otis Buxton, Walter Ranney, and Tolman Coombs had not gone away to war, or if, almost twenty years ago now, they had not come back as they did.

  It was a long string of ifs. Later, when Sue came to add them up, there seemed many points at which it all might have been changed, where everything might have come out differently.

  But as she thought longer, she realized that all these ifs were too large to change. The world had been setting them up to happen for a long, long time, and they would happen. They had to happen. Even the very smallest. Even the sticky summer morning when the fabric was laid away in the attic.

  “Is that the last?” Sue asked, bending to the trapdoor. Her nose prickled with dust, and strands of hair stuck to her forehead.

  Mother held up the package of muslin scraps. A trickle of sweat rolled down her brow. “Yes. Make sure you lay southernwood between all the folds, Sue, and close the latches tight. Clare, why don’t you go and rest? You’re looking pale.”

  Typical! Sue thought, straightening abruptly. She was roasting up here in the attic, Mother was toiling up and down stairs with muslin, calico, lawn, and jersey—and Clare, who was getting the new dresses and going on the vacation, was the one for whom it was all too much!

  She shoved the muslin into the trunk, slammed the lid, and struggled with the stiff latch. Unexpectedly the hasp slid into place and pinched her finger.

  “Ow!” Sue put her finger in her mouth and tasted blood. At the same moment she saw the dusty green southernwood branches on the floor beside the chest.

  “Confound it!” She reached for the southernwood, and a drop of blood, dark red like a ripe cherry, fell to the floor. Another and another: big round drops, beading on the dusty board.

  Sue stared at them for a moment. Then she twisted her handkerchief around her finger, lifted the lid, and thrust the sharp-smelling herb branches into the folds of muslin. Slam! went the lid, snap! went the latch, and Sue hunched on the big curved lid, gripping her finger tightly. What if she just stayed here? Would Mother worry? Would she realize that Sue, too, might be affected by the heat, might possibly have fainted up here in the sweltering attic?

  Of course not! Sue was the sturdy daughter, the one who could be counted on. She turned on the trunk lid, staring into the blackest corner of the eaves and drawing the attic dimness over her like a blanket.

  Before her was a yellowing stack of Harper’s Weeklys from the time of the war, and beside them the trunk in which Father’s worn uniform and Mother’s wedding gown lay folded in symbolic embrace, as they had embraced after their long separation. That trunk also held christening gowns and children’s clothes, the growth of the family from 1865, when it began, till now, 1884. Sue and Clare had spent one rainy afternoon when they were younger, arranging the clothes in order so they told the Gorham story.

  Nothing told the story of what was happening now.

  When she and Clare arranged things that day, they both were heroines. The pageant of events led in a direct line to themselves.

  Nowadays only Clare was a heroine—delicate Clare, resting on the sofa, keeping her clothes clean and her hands soft, traipsing off on a second vacation with Aunt Emma Campbell.

  It’s not fair! Sue thought. It was supposed to be my turn! But “fair” and “turn” were not words to apply to special favors. Mother had made that very clear. “Your aunt asked Clare because she knows Clare better and is fond of her. She’s under no obligation to either of you.”

  She might be fond of me, too, if she got to know me! Sue thought. But that was not the way things happened in their family. Clare was the frail one, who needed vacations. Henry was eldest son, promising young farmer. Ed, with his beautiful singing voice, his talent for painting, his charm and ambition, was like a comet, briefly illuminating their sky on his way out to the broader universe.

  And Sue? An extra pair of hands for Mother, plain and simple.

  The corner of the eaves swam. Two drops
formed on her lower lids and spilled over, warm and wet. They felt good, but stare as she might, no more came, only a slight welling of moisture, which caught and spangled the slant of light from the gable window. Sue turned her head, letting the spangles slide along the sunbeam, all the way back to the dark corner where a patch of red, the color of her own blood on the attic floor, slowly came into focus.

  Could there be something in this attic she’d never seen before?

  She slid off the trunk and ducked under the steep slope of the roof. Her fingers brushed the red object but couldn’t dislodge it. It was a book, jammed tight against the bottom of the rafter. Something, a nail or a knot, held it. Sue pried her fingers underneath, and with a scraping sound it came free. She brought it to the light. It was a small red leather book, with the fresh brown scratch she had just torn across the front cover. She blew off the dust and opened it.

  The page was covered with a firm, well-formed script in brownish ink. Familiar handwriting. Probably one of Grandfather’s diaries, in which he had written every day such tidings as “Rained. Picked 12 quarts strawberries. Got out 2 loads manure.”

  Oh, well. Father would be pleased. He turned back to the diaries often, shaking his head at the way the currants ripened on the same date year after year. Or he’d smile at some old-fashioned farming practice, finally winning the arguments Grandfather had so often won in life.

  Sue was about to shut the book when the words at the bottom of the page caught her eye. “… trembled, and felt myself the Enemy.”

  “Sue?” Mother didn’t sound worried. She sounded sharp. “Time to start dinner! Are you having trouble with the trunk?”

  Sue thrust the little book into the pocket of her dress. It was not one of Grandfather’s diaries, and before she showed it to anyone else, she was going to find out what it was.

  “Yes, I am having trouble,” she said, heading toward the trapdoor. “I cut my finger.”

  2

  AS SHE REACHED the bottom of the stairs, Sue glanced into the front parlor. Clare reclined gracefully on the sofa, with a small embroidery hoop in her hand. She set a stitch and looked up.

  “Did you say something?”

  “What is there to say?”

  In the kitchen Mother was mixing biscuits. “Wash your finger and I’ll tie it up for you.”

  Sue pumped cold water over her hand. Mother had a clean, soft cloth ready and tied it on in a flat knot. “Now get the potatoes going, please, and then you can shell the peas.”

  “Couldn’t Clare shell the peas?”

  “I want Clare to rest,” Mother said. “We have enough to do without nursing a sick child into the bargain.”

  Sue hung the basket over her arm and went down the cellar stairs. It was cool, but dark, too, and in spite of weekly sweeping, there were spiders. She reached deep into the nearly empty potato bin, where the long white sprouts reached back, all wiggly …

  “Ugh!” Sue seized a handful of sprouts and lifted the potatoes that way, counted, grabbed another batch.

  Upstairs quickly; scrub the potatoes; pump water into a cooking pan, and carry the potatoes out to the stove in the summer kitchen.

  Now for the peas, picked this morning and waiting in the shade beside the back door. At least shelling peas could be done sitting down—which was why it wouldn’t hurt Clare to do it!

  Clare used to want to help, Sue thought, settling on a stool with the bowl in her lap. All through her childhood Clare’s hands were beside hers—smaller, weaker, but helping: pushing the churn, seizing the feather duster, shelling peas.… Clare saying, “Let me!” Clare saying, “I’ll do it by myself!” It used to be annoying, Clare trying to do things she wasn’t able to. It was showing off, Sue used to think, because Clare didn’t like being the baby.

  But when Sue was thirteen and Clare twelve Clare caught a fever, and the whole order of the house collapsed. Mother was almost always in Clare’s room and, when she came out, she didn’t seem to see anything outside her own thoughts. For a whole month Sue cooked, washed, cleaned. Neighbors and relatives helped with the big jobs, but the everyday work was all Sue’s.

  Gradually the blurry, flushed look of fever left Clare’s face. Mother came out of the sickroom, and Sue waited for praise, and for the chance to tell all she’d endured. The days when she’d thought she couldn’t do one single thing more, and then she did. The way she remembered Father’s special stock for Sundays. The technique she’d figured out for piecrust.

  But Mother just said, “Well done, Sue!” Three years later Sue was still waiting for more.

  Nothing went back to the way it had been. When Clare was well enough, Aunt Emma took her to the seashore to recuperate. Clare returned a young lady. Sue was still just a big sturdy farm girl.

  “Mercy, it’s hot!” Mother came out with a pan of biscuit dough, opened the oven, and pushed it in. As she straightened, she seized the hissing teakettle and poured hot water on the slices of salt pork. Steam billowed. The last pea rattled into the pot, and Sue rushed to set them cooking.

  She started the coffee, then brought the pies from the pantry—apple, mince, custard, and one last slice of rhubarb. She filled the milk pitcher. Butter, a pitcher of cool water, a plate of pickles.

  As she finished, Mother came in and surveyed the table. “There! That’s a morning’s work!”

  When the clang of the dinner bell had died away, it was quiet in the dooryard. One sleepy hen crooned to herself. Over the high, round hill to the north the Drislanes’ conch shell sounded, calling their men to dinner. Over other hills, other conch shells, other bells, other men leaving the fields to eat a noontime meal.

  Father and the boys unhitched from the cultivators and rode up the long, flat cornfield, Father and Henry on the big horses, Ed in the lead on the Morgan, Bright.

  Bright was Sue’s horse, in spirit if not in fact. She had named him when he was a new red colt stretched out on the May grass. Within three months his coat had turned nearly black, but Bright was still the right name. Even in heavy harness he looked gay and jaunty, ready for adventure.

  Adventure! Sue looked up the farm road, dappled with black midday shadows. It rambled east past the sheep barn, around a little bend and up a hill to the main road. Come along! it seemed to say. Let’s go somewhere!

  But there was work to do, stretching through the afternoon to suppertime. Besides, Sue knew every rut and turn for as far as she could expect to travel. Every farmhouse, and every person in every house. Every horse. Every dog.

  Well, I’m cross! she told herself, turning to splash her face in the basin beside the door.

  Over dinner Henry continued his breakfast lecture on the feasibility of feeding corn silage to cattle.

  “After all, a cow’s stomach ferments fodder, doesn’t it? So why should fodder that’s been fermented beforehand do a cow any harm? They used to feed the pomace from cider mills to cattle, and around breweries they feed out the fermented grain—”

  Ed twinkled his eyes across the table at Clare and Sue. “Fascinating, hmm?”

  “At least it isn’t the fires!”

  “At least it isn’t the fires!”

  Sue felt her face go red, Clare frowned at her plate, and Ed’s smile widened teasingly. “You two sound like twins!”

  “What about the fires?” Henry asked.

  Ed laughed. “The girls were saying they never want to hear another word about the fires. I think it was a mistake to mention it, myself.”

  Henry looked at them indignantly. “Three barns burned inside of two months, some kind of maniac on the loose, and you girls don’t think it’s worth talking about?”

  Sue felt Mother stir beside her and answered quickly, before the argument could be stopped. “That was six months ago, Henry! It’s all over.”

  “You’d better hope it’s over!” Henry said. His eyes widened as he spoke, and he glanced out the window at the sheep barn.

  “We all hope so,” Mother said quietly. “In the meantime I agree wi
th the girls. It’s distressing to talk about. David, did you look at the currants this morning? Do you think they’re ready?”

  “It was distressing to be at!” Henry muttered. He was thinking of the animals, Sue knew, and she pushed her last slice of salt pork to the back of her plate. The fatty taste suddenly reminded her of the smell that lingered near the Campbells’ barn.

  Ed said, “Help you to some pie, sweet Sue?”

  “Yes, please, rhubarb.”

  Mother glanced at her. “You should ask if anyone else wants it first.”

  Mother was only trying to hold Sue to her own standard. But if Clare had wanted the last slice of rhubarb pie, would Mother have said anything? Sue felt herself flush again.

  Father reached across the table, took the rhubarb pie by its crisp rim of crust, and tipped it gently onto Sue’s plate. He caught Mother’s eye with a smile and a wink. “Boarding-house reach, Jane, I know. How will these youngsters learn manners if their old man doesn’t show them any better?”

  3

  AFTER DINNER WASH THE DISHES and set the table again, plates and cups upside down on the scrubbed board.

  “Let’s take the sewing outdoors in the shade,” Mother said, drying her hands on her apron. “Sue, will you bring chairs?” Sue nodded and pressed her lips tightly together to keep from sighing. “And then,” Mother went on, “maybe you won’t mind riding over to Ranney’s to match this thread.” She handed Sue a snip of Clare’s green dress fabric, carefully wound around with a length of thread.

  Clare could go to the White Mountains; Sue could go to Ranney’s store. But it was something. She brought out the chairs and then ran upstairs. The red book bumped against her leg, and she remembered to thrust it deep under her pillow before changing.

  Bright was in the barn. Mother liked to have a horse ready for errands, so each Morgan did farm work only half the day, and Father did most of his work with the big team.